Part 5 -“Living ‘I’”
There is one way of knowing if you are living the ‘life of I’: If you are thinking about it then you are.
We think of ourselves as special, each group hold their own set of values whether it is a family group, single individual, social groups, a community, state, country or planet. We believe in wrong and right or nothing or some other belief, that there is reason, even a reason for everything, that there are truths or maybe just one, that there is such a thing as salvation, or an answer to something or everything. These are all blind beliefs in search of meaning.
Meaning in itself is only an idea, is only a thought. When the mind lets go of thoughts it can let go of the ‘I’. Then there are no questions because no question ever existed.
There is no mind as a object, it is only a process brought together by the conditions of nature. The mind no longer has the feeling of being ‘I’, or being a self. There is no ‘I’, no question you seek to have answered, no satisfaction or dissatisfaction, the mind is calm, its hunger quenched.
I use these words we have developed to explain something that has nothing to do with these or any words or this book, or any idea, or anything.
There is nothing to get, nothing to give, nothing to have, nothing to do, nothing to be, no happiness, no sadness, no illness, no health, no suffering…nothing at all. Just everything as it is.
Everything is as it is, as it is, as it is, in each moment, as it is.
You literally create every moment of your reality by your thoughts. If you think ‘happy’ then in that moment you think it, that is what you are, and when that thought is gone so is that ‘feeling of happy’. And with the next thought you think you are angry then that is what you are and what you will experience yourself as, until the next moment arises. It can be whatever you decide it to be, you already have all the references for every possible mental state you could want. The only reason why you experience some more than the others is because you hold onto those thoughts more. Thoughts are a process of the mind, they are not you, they are only mistaken for you. Whatever thought you have it will be so.
In every moment you, your idea of your ‘I’ is born. First the mind is calmed so that there is awareness of its own thoughts. Once the mind is calm and thoughts are seen clearly then the mind can see that it is attaching the idea of ‘I’ to each thought. When it sees this and realizes it is unnecessary and takes away the actual experience of life then it can stop attaching the ‘I’ to everything. There will be no clinging to every thought. Thoughts can be just thoughts and life can be.
If we go about our daily lives with a busy mind it is restless, becomes tired, wonders off, dreams, clings to experiences and thoughts, becomes attached to the concept of a car, a chocolate, a lip and a body. The mind becomes exhausted with the attachments and the body experiences stress.
These restless minds uses thought to create ‘problems’. The mind gets caught up in political, geographical, ecological and philosophical concepts. Think about your own life for a moment. Think about how you think you live your life, what you say, how you describe yourself, how you feel, what you want, what you do not want, what you wish you had more of, or less, what you will start doing, what you want to give up, or try to improve.
These are the thoughts of an agitated mind, jumping from one thing to the next. This illusion is so ‘real’ that the mind cannot even grasp the idea that these things do not actually exist. The mind can become clouded with delusion. Full of worries and fears, gloomy and insecure about everything, grasping for air. And we insist on keeping it up.
Many people have started looking at alternative lifestyles because they see over-eating, love-depravation, mental illnesses, nervous breakdowns and a world of physical ailments.
Until the mind is literally shown that these attachments are not real it will keep holding onto these ‘realities’. When the mind lets go, every hunger, every thirst in quenched. The mind will know that there is nowhere to go. There are no answers to hunt after. What you do in your daily life is irrelevant to nature. When the mind is clear any job will be a success. You might think ‘I have to pay the rent’ but there will not be any emotional ‘worry’ feeling attached to it. The same goes for the ‘good stuff’. When you sign a new client, or have the highest sales for the month, you will not attach to the money, success or your talents. They will just be.
This is not some far off reality or some airy-fairy idea, magical or mysterious that only experienced in some other lifetime. It is right here.
Just take some time – think about it – seriously contemplate, observe the mind. The words in this book are just words. The words are printed on paper to share with those minds that are a little caught up in the world they created for them-selves. Observe your own mind, discover your own truths, through your own insight because you are holding your resolution in your own hands.
The mind will understand the words in this book. But they are not to be understood, not in any way. It cannot be understood by the mind. It can only be lived.
First the mind has to see that it’s ‘life’ is based on ideas, feelings, emotions, experiences and meaning. Then the mind has to be shown that it is all just meaning. Then the mind has to be shown that all meaning is based on either a negative or positive attachment. The mind has to see that it seeks the positive and avoids the negative in every situation, experience, in every aspect of its life. When the mind sees that it is all the same thing just with different meanings, then the mind is shown that meaning is an illusion in itself, it does not truly exists, it is an meaning in itself. The mind is finally challenged by the illusion of its own idea of it-self. It will look its experiences and its life. The mind will literally think it will die if this ‘I’ is not there. The mind will keep fighting to hold onto this concept of ‘I’. Hold this subject in mind mental force or concentration and the mind experiences its own ‘death’ and its own birth in a single moment.
Confining Yourself to the ‘life of I’
A mind that attaches to its own thoughts is confined to the reality it has defined.
If we are thinking about live, or about our thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions or sounds we are then being whatever we are capable of thinking about. Limiting it to the extent of that thought, idea, experience, word or sound. Essentially all of these are just a construct defined, nothing more and nothing less. It does not exists anywhere or in anything, it is merely a construct that we have chosen to attach our being to or attach to our being.
By trying to define this ‘idea’ of living I or not living I is just creating another construct in our limitless limitation of our reality.
By living a reality, or believing there is such a thing as reality is living it. Any construct is still a limitation, even if it appears limitless.
At some level each of us know that we are only living in a world of concepts, but it is so persistent that we think we cannot not live it, but it is possible.